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As a writer who's coming to terms with the fact I need to start inhabiting my body again after far too long locked up in the ivory tower of my head, this is exactly the kind of article I needed to stumble across, almost uncannily so!

And I love your observation on how we grant authority to writing because of how it arrives to us divorced of the body that moved the pen/pressed the keys. Very true, but that being said - you do write with authority, verve, grace... all that good stuff. And in spite of having a body!

Anyway, I really enjoyed this and I'm looking forward to reading your other posts :)

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Going to just share a bunch of joyful, disconnected thoughts.

1. "Have you ever told yourself a story that later turned out to be more physically-influenced than you thought?" Yes! As you may know, recently I've been obsessed with this idea of becoming a full-time creative (most likely centering on YouTube). I made a whole document outlining what it'd take.

Then I started to feel angsty & impatient.

After a upscale-Mexican dinner with my friend Vishesh, I realized the story of being a full time creative was really coming from a feeling: bouncing, happy energy from all the things I wanted to make & share, then a sense of trapped anxiety that I don't know how to channel all that energy, & then a fearful tightness that I'm running out of time.

I didn't need a career switch: I needed to acknowledge the creative energy inside, & make peace with the slow uncertainty of working it out day by day. Something that would only become harder if I were full time!

2. You open with "(How else does one begin, but in loving something?)". I can think of a few ways:

- with a clear go to market strategy

- with 2 Monster energy drinks

- start your day with Cheerios -- the heart healthy breakfast!

- with a burning sense this will be the salary I deserve, and dammit it's about time I got some recognition for working my ass off and having to take her telling me every night I don't spend enough time with the kids

- with a 6 months cash reserve in a high-interest money market account (with any pending Roth IRA contributions factored in)

;)

3. I love how you dig into writing as a medium: that every writer in history looks the same, proceeds linearly across the page the same. But that behind it is a fleshy being with stomach acid & nose hairs.

And I liked how you brought us into the physical reality of where you were writing this. I felt closer to you for it, the essay felt richer for seeing a glimpse of the vivid you behind it.

I've got a crik in my neck, the edges of my Macbook are digging into my forearms, & our black cat is pressed against my laptop. I'm sitting at the metal chairs in our kitchen. My eyelids feel tired & but there's a buzzing in my fingers & chest. My mouth is still sweet from mango green milk tea. I hear cars whirring by on the freeway.

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I love this story about you going to a Mexican restaurant with Vishesh. IDing (?) or getting in contact with the emotions underneath our narratives can be so liberating! I hope you found some new paths after that.

HAHA on your Radiohead-like interlude about all the ways people begin that AREN'T rooted in love :P

Finally, it was really nice receiving your writing about your physical being as you were writing this. That felt special in a way I hadn't experienced before, actually, so thank you for giving me the chance to experience reading that from the other side! x) Maybe next time we chat we can unpack why that feels so different, both from reading a disembodied text, and from just showing up and hanging out with someone in person.

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Yes, let’s do!

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Sep 8, 2022Liked by Michelle Jia

Ok as much as I have enthused about your ability to write, the curation of art that you are gifting us is also WOW. Look at that!!!

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Awww!!! Thank you! It makes me happy to find lovely art. I look for images for each essay, these don't come from my mind -- they come from me crawling Are.na ;)

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